Tonight I was determined to be unhappy. Two days ago I had to give up the opportunity of a lifetime and cancel a speaking engagement at an epilepsy conference in San Francisco. Since I live in Pennsylvania and have never been farther west than Minnesota (which was only for a lovely admission to the Mayo Clinic), this was depressing to me. It was doubly depressing because it was due to my health. If I had won the lottery and had to stay home to collect the check, I might not be as upset, but I have been seizing a lot, sleeping 16-18 hours a day and feeling miserable.
Flying across the country alone, was not a safe option. Exploring a new city alone, again, not a safe option. I can picture me ending up in the ER and the staff asking which hotel I was staying in and my answer would probably be something so eloquent as “jump rope” or “wasabi”. So I had to give up this trip I had been looking so forward to and been dreaming about and I was mad, disappointed, upset, sad...you name it, if it’s negative I’ve felt it in the past 48 hours.
I was going to take those negative emotions with me tonight to our church family night. People were going to know that I was unhappy and that epilepsy did this to me. It didn’t really work out that way though. Despite my desire to be unhappy, I was taught some lessons from a teacher I never expected.
This is what a very precocious and very precious 3 year old taught me tonight.
1) I’m wrong, a lot, but it’s ok. (yes she told me this)
2) Monster faces and growling somehow make things better. (We practiced)
3) Always have hope and be excited by that hope...She is looking forward to
her birthday (still many months away) and telling me excitedly how close it
4) Be happy with the little things. She was so happy and proud that she ate all
her food before her mom had finished, I think she told me 6 times that she finished first.
It may seem silly and simple, but sometimes we need reminded of these things. It took a 3 year old to remind me to not be grumpy and that it was a choice I wasmaking. If you’re making that choice to let epilepsy or anything else run your life, maybe you need to find a 3 year old to talk to. Or at least think about choices you’re making.